Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Here's a Gift

Thank you so much for making this a great year of improving marriages and learning how to be a better spouse. +Andrea and I are thrilled to keep learning about each other and to keep improving our marriage skills. We hope you have a merry time and, if you need some reading material for that new Kindle, we're making the book free from December 25th to the 29th.

Go here and grab it. Send the link to all your friends and family. Enjoy.

Truly scintillating newscasting

We're givin' away books to everybody up in here!

June 24-25 the book is free on Kindle!

Vacation Time

The summer is fast approaching and with it, vacation planning. I don't know how things work in your family, but for us, vacation planning has always been a source of stress. Who decides what we're going to do? How are we going to pay for it? Where are we going to go? What are we doing? What's the point?

All the stress of communication in normal life is condensed into vacation planning and vacation taking. And that can make the vacations anything but relaxing fun-time.

There are several conversations in The Marriage Challenge that help you work through the stresses and pitfalls of vacation planning. Weeks 22 through 25 are all about vacation:

• Permission to Vacation
• Not a Vacation from Manners
• Your Vacation Language
• Purposeful Adventure

Which conversation(s) do you need to have before the vacation season hits? What are the issues that come up when you plan your vacation? 

Get the Marriage Your Never Wanted

What was the marriage you wanted before you got married? Was it to make you happy? Was it to make your parents happy? Was it to fulfill an obligation? Was it to feel loved all the time?

If you've been married for more than a month, you've discovered that what you wanted and what you got are worlds apart. One option is to think that the marriage is wrong because it's not what you wanted. Choose this and, if the marriage doesn't change, you'll probably end up in divorce.

The other option is to change what you want. Stop making your marriage the vehicle to fulfill your wants. Instead of trying to get your spouse to meet all your needs and desires, you deal with yourself. Try to be happy, fulfilled and content - on your own.

That's what The Marriage You Never Wanted is all about (plus some cool, hand-drawn pictures). My friends Ben and Monica are putting together a wealth of resources. Go to the website, follow them on Twitter, attend a workshop. Ben is a licensed marriage and family therapist, but more than that, he and Monica have done the work. They've been working hard on their marriage, and it shows.

Communication

So I've finally broken down and started up an email list. You can see the signup form right over there. Yup, just to the right. There it is.

I haven't done this yet, mostly because I don't tend to subscribe to email lists, but I've been convinced that I can't just communicate in ways that I like. I need to learn to communicate in ways that other people prefer as well (it almost sounds like there's a principle that could be applied to marriage in there).

If you haven't yet (and if you want to) would you subscribe to the email list? My plan is to use it to announce new book projects (we have one we're working on), discounts and promotions on the book, and news about upcoming events (like a marriage retreat).

What communication methods do you prefer? Which ones take some effort for you to use?

Review: Make a Note to Love Your Spouse by Jim Maxwell

Love notes are hard work. Especially for those of us who don't speak the love languages of gift giving or words of affirmation. That's one reason why you should get Make A Note To Love Your Spouse. Jim Maxwell gives you everything you need to know to write great love notes (to your spouse and to anyone you love).

I'm not good at gifts. I'm moderately good at offering words of affirmation, but it's not a strength of mine. But my wife's top Love Language is gift giving. Jim's book breaks down how I can easily and quickly write love notes to her so she can feel that love that I want to express. It's not hard, it just takes a few minutes and the rewards are fantastic.

Jim is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of REAL Marriage where he helps real people have real relationships. He's got the experience counseling couples, serving as a military chaplain and learning how to be happily married to his own wife.

Make a Note to Love Your Spouse gives you simple, step-by-step instructions on how to start writing love notes, how to make them creatively, what to write in them and when to give them. This book is full of ideas, prompts and tools that will win you points with your spouse. The appendices give you ideas for what's happening each month and holidays that you might use as a love note prompt, so this book isn't just a one-time resource.

Pick it up, read it, and write a love note to your spouse today.

(Note: Amazon links earn me a small commission. I received nothing for this review, this is my honest evaluation of the book after reading it).